A Weblog monitoring coverage of environmental issues and science in the UK media. By Professor Emeritus Philip Stott. The aim is to assess whether a subject is being fairly covered by press, radio, and television. Above all, the Weblog will focus on science, but not just on poor science. It will also bring to public notice good science that is being ignored because it may be politically inconvenient.

Monday, August 30, 2004

"I've got a little list - " (with deep apologies to W.S.G.).....

"As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list - I've got a little list.
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed - who never would be missed!

There are moralistic councillors who on wheelie bins insist-
So your garden is re-cycled like a lurid plastic cyst-
An' people who drop chewin' gum on pavements clean and fair-
Or put their shoes on railway seats, if there is room to spare-
An' mobile phoners, tones so clear, that ev'ry soul is drowned in sighs-
About their truly boring lives, of pubs, an' mates, an' tawdry dives-
'Ye public' who stuff burgers when they're somewhat slightly pissed-
They'd none of 'em be missed - they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS: He's got 'em on the list - he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed - they'll none of 'em be missed.

There are wind farms on our hillocks, killing bats and birds so fair-
An' ladies - "All 'organic', dear!" - with 'joints' and cash to spare-
Those pious GM trashers (what fun to trash them back!)-
Cyclists crossing lights at red, as they do blithely tack-
An' dumps with more green bottles than the French could make to pay-
With twee folk in their Charlie smocks, while eating antique hay-
An' those who want their energy, while all power plants are dished -
I don't think they'd be missed - I'm sure they'd not he missed!

CHORUS: He's got them on the list - he's got them on the list;
And I don't think they'll be missed - I'm sure they'll not be missed!

There are 'meachers' spreading fear and gloom, from shore to flooded shore-
With government advisers crying "Doom!" yet more and more-
An' those 'global warming' faithful, whether wet, or cold, or dry-
With our Guard-i-an reporters seeing death in every sky-
An' then there's those who cup, drink herbs, or lie in asses milk-
I'm sure you know their ilk - they often dress in silk -
But it matters not a nanotech whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed - they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS. You may put 'em on the list - you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed - they'll none of 'em be missed!"

Philip, "You'll have had yer tea, Lord High Executioner?" Chop, chop there!

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