EnviroSpin Watch

Come on you cavaliers - let's enrage those puritans.....

The more I listen to the rhetoric of Tony Blair, 'Davos Man' as Anatole Kaletsky in today's The Times so appositely dubs him, the more I feel he makes Oliver Cromwell seem positively cavalier. Mind you, when it comes to action, that is another story.

Nevertheless, like so many of you, I know, I have had a belly full of the 'global warming' pieties, enough indeed to last me a lifetime. I think it's the moment to have some cavalier fun. So, why not:

* Go out and buy the biggest patio heater you can find;
* Do fly to that friend's wedding in Vancouver and tell George Monbiot to go and jump off Folly Bridge or Iffley Lock;
* Buy a historic house in which you can resist installing double glazing on heritage grounds;
* Do buy your daughter a SUV so that she is better protected and can have a clearer view of the road and the maniacs who drive on it;
* On every occasion, and at every dinner party (especially in Islington or East Anglia), do feel free to point out that wind farms destroy 'wilderness' and that nuclear power is the only option if you really do foolishly believe that you can do 'something' predictable about climate change;
* Support vigorously the development of Airbus A380 (just following Mr. Blair's example, of course);
* Point out to folk that increasing emissions of carbon dioxide reflect sound economic growth and demonstrate that the UK economy is not doing too badly despite all the ecohype and hysteria ("Good old Gordon!" He never mentions 'global warming', you might observe);
* Point out on every occasion possible that you can't abide the hypocritical piousness whereby Europe lectures the world while happily increasing its own emissions;
* Shop with open pleasure at lovely malls like Bluewater in Kent (safe, clean, good for single mums, for mums and dads with pushchairs, and fun);
* Refuse to sink into a puritan slough of despond full of gloom and doom. Light a nice warming fire with either The Independent or The Groaniad; then listen to Alfred Brendel playing Schubert. Ah! 'Global warming' - what a load of ....

Philip - Bluewater is great, by the way. Don't let the liberal elites and architectural snobs at the The Gloomiad tell you otherwise. Just time for coffee under the patio heater.....