EnviroSpin Watch

Norm and Ollie, or "Another fine mess you've got me into".....

Did I hear aright on this morning's Today programme? Or was it the fag end of some overheated nightmare? Oliver Letwin of the Conservatives (MP for West Dorset) and Norman Baker of the Liberal Democrats (MP for Lewes) are going to try to form some unholy alliance to deal with climate change - "because it is so serious"! Oh dear! Oh my! Has it dawned on these gentle souls that, even if they could do something about climate change which would work predictably (which they can't), their economic and political approaches are Hayeks apart?

I must say, as a down-to-earth Labour lad, I simply burst out laughing and nearly knocked over my coffee. And Margaret Beckett's comment was perfect and apposite: "Interesting!" Quite.

From the point of view of the Conservatives, this is Alice-in-Blunderland madness. "Another fine mess you've got me into, Ollie!" But then, the Conservatives are, at the moment, a risible shambles and being sucked into 'command-and-control' socialistic policies won't make a spot of difference, will it? Their 'True Blue Capitalist' supporters will be even more bereft of a port in the political storm. Whoever is made the new Leader of the Conservative Party is going to have to rein in Mr. Letwin swiftly and firmly. The Conservatives need to be taken seriously. Presently, they look like rabbits facing a stoat - weasily discarded.

And Norman Baker? He's a lovely lad (I've even supped a happy pint of Harveys with him down there in Lewes), but the Lib Dems are so wet on topics like energy and 'global warming' that you can shoot snipe off their leaflets. You just can't take them as a serious party of government.

And, of course, the moment these Tweedledums and Tweedledees begin to discuss topics like nuclear power and wind farms, they'll soon be fighting again over the rattle. When the Conservatives start to support wind farms, they will lose half of their rural votes overnight; when the Lib Dems support nuclear power, they will have grown up (at last!) and returned to being true Gladstonian Liberals rather than soggy Green lefties.

I suppose it all adds to the gaiety of the nation. But when will politicians learn that 'halting' climate change is beyond their petty parliamentary punches and that the jolly UK (less than 1.5% of world energy consumption by 2020) is no longer a big player in the energy game? Moreover, ask anyone outside the UK if they have even heard of Norm or Ollie? Or, for that matter, the Lib Dems, or even, these days, the Conservatives? And precisely what will the new young Liberal turks feel about Norm and Ollie and their latest wheeze?

I thought Oliver Letwin was supposed to be a bright, sharp Tory hopeful. He should know better - as on tax?.

This is the politics of Ruritania:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

Philip, I hear the Red Queen will make the next move. Norm and Ollie are just pawns in the game. What a gambit! "Tea, your Majesty?" "Off with their heads!"