A Weblog monitoring coverage of environmental issues and science in the UK media. By Professor Emeritus Philip Stott. The aim is to assess whether a subject is being fairly covered by press, radio, and television. Above all, the Weblog will focus on science, but not just on poor science. It will also bring to public notice good science that is being ignored because it may be politically inconvenient.

Friday, July 07, 2006

The 10 final proofs of 'global warming'.....

You should believe in 'global warming' when.....

(1) apocalyptic academics stop flying round the world to conferences and for their extended summer holidays - er, sorry - 'field research';

(2) The Guardian and The Independent stop advertising cheap flights and holidays;

(3) the Cameroonian middle classes give up their holiday villas in Provence, Tuscany, the Caribbean, etc.;

(4) the BBC stops flying hundreds of duplicate reporters and staff round the world for each separate programme and channel;

(5) the European Parliament stops 'toing-and-froing' between two parliament buildings of equal glassiness, and the French drop agricultural subsidies;

(6) Greece, Ireland, Portugal, Spain, et al.; Japan; Canada; and all the rest come anywhere near to meeting their Kyoto targets;

(7) Canadians turn off the lights and switch off the heating/air conditioning when not in a room, China gives up coal, and everybody agrees to cut the 'wine miles' to zero;

(8) politicians stop canvassing by helicopter, plane, and battle bus, and Al Gore finds it "inconvenient" to travel about lecturing on 'global warming';

(9) Prince Charles travels about in a G-WIZ with just one member of staff - and squeezes his own toothpaste. Also, John 'Two-Jags' Prescott can fit into a G-WIZ;

(10) the glitterati, the popocracy, the metro elite, and all the politicians really do believe that it all applies just as much to them as to the world's bedint.

There you have it: 'global warming' doesn't exist. QED.

Philip, "Well, that's settled that, then!" "Patio heaters and plonk all round, chaps!"

[New counter, June 19, 2006, with loss of some data]

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